Brand Me, Baby

The thing I feared has come to pass. No one is reading this blog, and without readership/feedback/interaction it becomes an online journal where I quietly process my writing adventures. I began with the idea of connecting with readers, but perhaps I’ll get some much-needed self therapy, instead. For writers, insanity is a predisposing factor, exacerbated by the job.

Which introduces today’s post, if in somewhat rambling fashion. (Talkin’ to myself, remember? Who cares how much I ramble? Shut up.) In terms of connecting with readers, newly published authors are advised to establish their author “brand”. Several things here, so hold your breath, kids, we’re goin’ in.

First, “brand” appears to be the current hot marketing buzzword. I friggin’ hate buzzwords. After seven years in the non-profit sector, constantly hassled by state, federal and other funding agencies to use the proper buzzwords in grant and report writing, buzzwords make my skin crawl. What’s wrong with variety? For craps’s sake, people, we’re selling creative command of language! Hmmph.

‘Nother thing. I’m from Texas. Y’all say “brand” around me, and I get visions of being tied up and held down by sweaty, dusty men, wielding red hot irons. Now, I don’t mind the sweaty dusty men, and in some very specific circumstances might even experiment with letting them hold me down and tie me up, but hot irons do nothing for me. I’m sure they’re exciting for some folks, but that association just makes me want to run away, far and fast.

All of which is to say: I am reluctant to be branded. I have commitment issues anyway; why should this differ? I don’t want to be known as a contemporary, historical, paranormal or mainstream author, who does whatever-all-my-stories-in-those-genres-have-in-common, or whose characters have whatever qualities I can’t appear to avoid.

Yes, there is an argument for letting readers know what to expect: likeable characters, great descriptions, angsty villains, snarky heroines, what have you. But when I analyze my craft too deeply it disappears. Really. I suspect that, like me, my writing doesn’t want to be pigeonholed or even relied on to deliver much of anything. When I start trying to define it, it simply goes away. If I concentrate on branding, I’m not writing anymore. If I’m not writing I’m not a writer; if I don’t write I don’t publish. If I’m not published I’m not an author….I’m the looney chick in the corner, mumbling to myself. Somewhat like this blog.

At bottom, I don’t want to let perceptions box me in. I write what I like because I like it, because it calls to me and lives inside my head, demanding release into the world. That’s it. Not because it fits a brand or a definition or anyone else’s idea of what’s popular or hot or “good”. Don’t get me started on “good”.

But if the world insists on a brand, here goes: I write in multiple genres. Most of my stories will feature some form of romance, although not everyone will consider all of them romantic. They generally challenge authority in some form.

There you go. That’s it. I’m bouncing around, thumbing my nose through smudged, rose colored glasses.

Come to think of it, that’s pretty accurate: ADD, commitment issues and internal conflict, through and through.

And the random question for the day:

Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?

Nope. Look at the shape. They clearly evolved from fingers. Spoons evolved from palms.

A Writer's Life, Redux

What a mixed up day. It started out horrible, and wound up bearable. My computer cratered this morning, which anyone who follows my Twitter or Facebook heard more than they wanted to about. It took about 3000 words of a new story I was actually beginning to like down with it into the grave. The techies are pessimistic about recovery. Then my breakfast blew up all over the microwave, after which I put together a mish-mash of old computer components to make a halfassed-useable stop-gap system (pardon the typos courtesy of the ancient keyboard). I finally decided to blow off steam by playing an online game, and was absolutely obliterated in it.

And yes, folks, to top it all I'm still whining and still stressing because 1) I didn't place a story I wanted to--I got some good feedback and will try again elsewhere, but it's discouraging. And 2) supposedly placing a different story two weeks ago still hasn't yielded a signed contract or any info re publication dates or for that matter confirmation of placement from the publisher.

In other words, I'm frustrated.

On the other hand: My daughters are nice people. My son is doing well in school. My friends are kind and encouraging. Once I wailed like a baby, some folks in the online game came through to help me. My husband and I got take out for a nice dinner. My dog loves me, and my cat is purring in my lap as I type.

So I guess, all in all, I'll survive. Don't you wish you could quit the day job for a glamorous, creative life like mine?

Today's Whine

(Note: If you are a writer, publisher, or any person otherwise connected with the publishing industry, you may prefer to skip this post and go directly to…wherever you were originally headed. You’ve already heard this crap a hundred times from a hundred other whiny authors, and probably won’t find it amusing, educational or elevating. On the other hand, if you are one of my fans—I have some? Yes?—or even more astounding, a family member, feel free to keep reading. You like to hear me whine. You know you do.)

Having achieved phase one of every writer’s dream (signing a few for-real contracts) I recently embarked on phase two of said dream: I sally forth to sell my book(s).

Hold up, there. Didn’t I already sell them? To a publisher?

Yes, but…in the internet age of indie press, marketing is the writer’s responsibility. You know how every job description has a core of rigidly intrinsic responsibilities which directly determine whether you’re promoted or fired? And every job also has at least a few much more relaxed, creative—and thus enjoyable—elements?

Guess which is marketing and which is writing, in this scenario?

At least for me. Others may feel differently about it, but I enjoy writing far more than selling, partly because I feel at least competent when writing. There’s nothing like the combination of social marketing and computer tech ignorance to make me wanna hide my head in an old manual typewriter for a while.

So let’s see. Thus far, I have built a web page from scratch, joined twitter, myspace and facebook, started a blog, figured out how to link posts from twitter to myspace and facebook and vice versa, figured out enough about RSS feeds to post linked blog updates at least three different places, listed the blog in a following-type app through facebook, found author’s pages at Amazon and figured out I can post bio, pic and yes, blog updates there, found message boards at Amazon and announced myself on the new author’s thread, joined a Yahoo romance authors publicity self-help learning type group, chased down book reviews at sites my publisher didn’t already solicit, joined a professional organization, made plans to attend their yearly convention and entered their writing contest…

I’m sure there’s more. I’m just tired, looking at the list. And I already know that tomorrow I will start working on a newsletter.

Did I mention that I’m basically an ultra shy technophobe? That I live in mortal fear of interacting with people I don’t know and have serious self confidence issues? No?

Good. I’d hate for anybody to think I’m struggling with this.

Random question for the day:

Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?

Um...sing?

A writer's life for me

I am trying so hard to be disciplined and mature. You see, at the moment I have three different novel submissions at three different imprints, in three separate stages of the submissions game. The first is one that I just submitted a week ago. The genre is a slight departure for me, and thus the story went to an imprint I haven't dealt with before. I scrupulously tried to follow all their submission guidelines, and received a nice reply, letting me know the submissions package had been received. With no prior experience of this publisher, though, I have no feel for how long their evaluation process really takes. My best bet in the situation is to put the submission out of my mind and go on with life, forgetting about it as much as possible. "We'll know when we know and not before" is the pertinent attitude.

That's do-able. I've done it before when I had to, about all kinds of things.

The second submission was made oh, I guess a couple of weeks ago. Because it went to a company I have a prior relationship with, because it is the second series installment of a currently contracted novel (with this company) I am fairly confident of acceptance, unless I made some stupid mistake I'm not aware of, unless it somehow doesn't fit the company's needs, unless the first installment doesn't sell worth a tinker's damn...but either way, I'll know nothing for 90-120 days. And I won't query until then, either.

It's time to start working on the third installment of the series, giving myself periodic pep talks, the while.

The third submission was made eight months ago. I have queried on it twice, and am reluctant to do so a third time. The editor has been very good about answering my queries, and is very open about the company's acquisitions process. As far as I can tell , my submission must have done well so far, apparently making it most the way through the reviewing/acquiring process. The work hasn't been rejected yet--but it hasn't been accepted, either.

That's nail-biting time.

Notice that nowhere above did I say that "I" have or haven't been accepted, rejected, or published. I hear about writers who confuse their work with their self worth or identity, and about those who refer to their work as their "baby(ies)". I do my damnedest to avoid both. My babies are all grown, thank you very much, and my self worth and identity rest on other things besides one novel, or even the entire body of my work.

Regardless, I am twitching.

Oh, did I mention that I've entered two titles in the EPIC award competition? You know the one. According to the EPIC website (and a quick cast around the web bears it out) the group sponsors "one of the premier contests in the e-book and e-publishing world". Finalists from this years entries will be announced in the first two weeks of November, less than a month away.

When I was a kid, imagining my future as an author--and more recently, before I left the day job--I pictured long, intense but peaceful days at the keyboard (typewriter, for childhood daydreams. I'm dating myself, here). I conjured blissful images of pouring out story after story, with no blocks, distractions or even bodily needs to interrupt. I did not imagine myself frazzled and fretting, unable to concentrate, skittering wildly back and forth between editing, contest submission preparation (local, not EPIC), checking email, twitter and facebook in rotating succession, and scrubbing the bathroom/washing dishes/hoeing the winter garden patch--because I can do those things in tiny bites, with no ability to settle down and focus whatsoever.

I think I forgot to say that I have ADD, and I quit smoking a few months ago.

If we go a month with no further update to this blog, would someone please send paramedics to my house? They're likely to find me in a slobbering, quivering, drooling, mass, slumped over the keyboard, with a pack of cigarettes stuffed in my mouth, fingers chewed down past the first knuckle and my hair on fire for good measure.

Random question for the day:

(Seriously. This is the one that came up. I had nothing to do with the selection, other than clicking a button.)

You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?

Are you nuts? I've been waiting thirty years to let fame go to my head. See above.

10 Ways You Know a Story Was Written by Me...

I ran across an interesting concept on another writer’s blog. She’s much better known than I am, so this topic is more pertinent to her than me, but she said to pass it on, and since it grabbed my attention and made me think, I will.

I’m still debating whether everything on the following list is in every story I’ve written. I write romance: contemporary, historical, paranormal and science fiction—and occasional mainstream stuff, too. I think it’s fair to say that much of the following applies to most stories I’ve written. The few examples I can think of that totally defy the pattern are all a) unfinished and/or b) unpublished.

One final disclaimer: if you’re a shrink, professional or amateur, don’t even try to pick apart the neuroses behind these themes. Seriously. I’ve got my own MA in psychology. If I want analysis, I’ll pay for it.

1. Some character, somewhere, will have serious Daddy issues. Dad may be abusive, remote, disapproving, completely absent, an unrealistic saint or a psycho…but for at least one character, he figures highly somehow.

2. Mom is either really okay, or doesn’t figure much at all, for anyone—unless of course she’s the central character. Then she’s a powerful lady who probably has Daddy issues.

3. Children don’t stay with birth families. They are fostered, orphaned, adopted, on their own, stepped into blended families….but seldom with both the birth mom and dad.

4. Generally accepted ethics, beliefs, long standing customs and traditions— particularly god(s), their religions, priests and priestesses—are challenged as to existence, relevance or motives…but not accepted/followed without question.

5. People don’t stay put. They move around. They immigrate. Or emigrate. Or go on long journeys. But they don’t remain quietly in one place.

6. Someone's sexuality has been abused. Sometimes through rape, sometimes in other forms. Sometimes through enforced ignorance, repression and denial of innate human needs/desires, which is an insidious, too-often socially acceptable form of sexual abuse.

7. Heroes want to make everything okay for heroines. Heroines won’t let them. This is grandiose on his part anyway. He’s probably got too many commitment issues to make things really right for anybody. If he doesn’t, she does. Can we pair grandiose delusions and commitment issues in one item?

I think so. It’s my list and they’re my stories.

8. I identify more with male protagonists than female. Does this come through to the reader? I don’t know; I thought I’d throw it in here though.

9. There will be violence. Violence or the threat of it is very likely to be or have been a fact of life for one or more central characters, but in every story someone will die from it or come damn close.

10. Sex will not be the answer and will probably take place before it “should”. (I’ve been accused of throwing people into bed together “too soon”. What’s that about anyway? Is there a universal time line? Aren’t we all just fumbling around, doing the best we can? Oh, sorry. That’s another rant, for another day.)

And the random question for the day, from the profile section of the blog--I really like this feature, can you tell? -- is:

You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?

Oooh, I like this one. But--this is a family blog. You do not want to know my best pose. And I don't want to put it out there on the web. Nobody's payin' me for that.

Finally

Yay! And boo...
I have a blog. And I wound up going to one of the pre-made, cut and paste, do it our way or die blog sites after all. So much for all the garbage in earlier entries, transcribed from the page in my web site. I could have deleted them and not transcribed them here, banishing them to computer limbo land, but I decided to keep this honest if, if I'm going to do it. And the truth is, I didn't want to do a blog this way. But I couldn't figure out another way that wasn't more work than I wanted, so here I am.

Also in defiance of info given below, there is now a guestbook on the website. In case you haven't seen it elsewhere, my author's website is romancebyrachelsmith.com. Go there. Leave a note on the guestbook. I command you.

And finally, contradicting the post immediately preceding this one, if you care to check dates, no I didn't post every week as I said I would. But I'm posting now, and having posted now, I consider my current obligation complete. We'll start being interesting next time. Have a good night.

PS. If you want interesting, I've decided to do the answers to random questions from the profile, and post them in the blog periodically. Those look fun. Here's the first one:

For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Dear Auntie: When did you get back from the grave? How did you do it? And what significance does the rooster have in announcing your debut as an undead citizen, of whatever variety you've chosen? Please, please drop me an email. I'm dying of curiosity (whoops, beg pardon). We really must get together soon. Over coffee, perhaps? Do you still drink coffee?

Blogging?

Why is blogging so difficult for me? I'm a writer! I write novels! Why then, do I struggle to periodically post a few words online?I don't know. Maybe because a blog isn't a novel. I always said I couldn't write short stories, and my blogging block appears to bear it out. Part of the problem is that I really figure no one's reading. I mean, what am I blogging about? My life? How utterly boring to anyone but me. You'd think the presumed lack of public interest would be freeing. Similar to a journal that no one will read, so you can write anything you please in it. With my luck though, if I approached blogging in that light, someone would not only read my entries, but find them horribly offensive. I"ve looked at other writer's blogs. Most seem to have no difficulty generating blog topics from week to week or month to month. They pose questions for their readers to consider (and answer) and host contests with a wide range of prizes. I bow down before their efforts, and still walk away uninspired, if not outright intimidated. But autumn is the season of renewal, for me. My birthday happens soon, and I always use it the way some folks do the New Year, to evaluate and commit (or recommit) to changes I'd like to make and goals I'd like to achieve. In that spirit, I hereby formally pledge to blog about something a minimum of once a week, at least until the end of this year. At that point, I'll re-evalute again. So if anybody's out there, stay tuned.